holler, holler, holler.

This weekend, while perusing a favorite book store in Sydney, I found this:

raise the roof.
raise the roof.

If you don’t recognize the craft-club format of the cover, I should inform you that Drink, Play, F@#k is the answer to this book:

not awesome.
not awesome.

[Now, I know I’m about to lose a lot of female subscribers as I continue this post.  Google Reader tells me that I have 7 subscribers total, so I’m assuming it’ll soon drop down to like… 3?]

Almost every woman I know told me that I HAD to read Eat, Pray, Love… and I did… hardly.  I barely finished the thing.  This woman, we’ll call her Elizabeth Gilbert… cuz that’s her name, was PAID to travel all over the world [Italy, India and Indonesia] and write an awe-inspiring book.  What the hell?? Give me a nine month PAID trip to three places of my choice and I’ll come up with alllll kinds of inspiring, cookie-cutter cliches that you’ll eat right up… and I’m not all that inspiring of a person.

I just didn’t understand how so many women bought right into it.  I was still giving the book the good college-try this summer, living in Yosemite.  One night, I had the book in the community kitchen while I was making dinner.  A girl I hardly knew walked up and said…

– Oh my god.  Are you reading that book?

– Yeah… I am.  Have you read it?  [Desperately hoping that her “Oh my god” was of disgust and I could relate to a female on the ridiculousness.]

– Yes.  It is the most amazing book I’ve ever read.  It seriously changed my life.

– Oh… Yeah… It’s a book of… adventure.  [When I really wanted to say, “Really?  It changed your life??  Yours and every other PMSing female’s in America.”]

It was then that I knew I was not going to buy into the hoopla.  I pushed through the book but it really just made me want to hot-snack.  There were multiple times I had to say, “Oh, give me a break!” out loud.

But now there’s THIS:

[again... raise the roof.]
again... raise the roof.
An obviously-mocking tale of one man’s search for peace after breaking up.  I LOVE it.  Here’s a proper description:

“What is a man to do after the tragic ending of his loving marriage and a nasty divorce? How does he rediscover the essence that makes him a man after years of being forced to attend ballets, eat vegan food, and participate in intimacy seminars? In this faux memoir that is the male version of EAT, PRAY, LOVE there is only one way: DRINK, PLAY, F@#K After his wife leaves him, Bob Sullivan sets off to explore the world, experience a meaningful connection with the divine, and rediscover his passion. His travels lead him from his former marital home in New York City, to Ireland, the drinking capital of the World, on to the glitz, neon 24-hour town that is Las Vegas, and then to the sensuous, lush jungle and beaches of Thailand. After a lifetime of playing it safe, Bob finally learns to follow his heart. Bob Sullivan has a lot to teach us about life. Let’s just pray that we have the wisdom to listen.”
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to read it.  Hell no.  I hated the book it’s making fun of because it was so artificial… This book is the only thing that could get even more contrived.  Okay, well I’m not going to buy it… I might read a borrowed copy someday.

I’m just psyched it’s out there.

10 thoughts on “holler, holler, holler.”

  1. i was with you for this whole post until you said you weren’t going to read the book. then i was just like “oh, give me a break!” i really hope someone writes a mocking version of this blog post. i will not read it.

  2. I would like to go back to Rachels comment on how she did not like the fact the Pattons post comments under a collective name, becuase we dont know specifically who it is. In this case how ever it is quite obvious it is Casey.
    I wouldnt want to read about a guys who tries to get over a girl by drinking and F**cking either. “Another extremly unoriginal tale a lonely guy, trying to find his way through life.”
    I believe to make both these book more interesting the two authors should switch titles and then write about thier tales. A woman who eat drinks and f**cks, and a guy who prays and eats and does whatever the third verb is. That would be original.

  3. 1. it’s quite obvious? why? because i’m so awesome? thanks.

    2. i think sheena’s started to sign out and use “sheena” when she posts. at least when she remembers.

    3. i would never read either of these books.

  4. casey, you should read Eat, Pray, Love… you’d love it… it’ll change your life.

    yeah, i do need to read Drink, Play, F@#K… especially cuz i talk so much smack about it’s rival. fine, i’ll put it on my to-read list… but i’m not buying it new… that’s for sure.

  5. ha… it just means that i’m not going to pay full price for the book. i’ll buy it used [amazon or used book shop] or i’ll have to borrow it from someone. i only buy new the books i think i’ll really, really like.

  6. hahahaha… i knew what you meant by not buying it new, dorksquad.
    i was saying i have no idea what my comment is supposed to mean.
    oh, this is just silly… the internet and all.

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