Kylie [my boss, a 29-year-old hottie] and I like our coffee. We found a local cafe that serves our favorite: Campos. The stuff is like heaven on earth, voted best coffee in the Southern hemisphere. Campos deserves a post in itself… but this post is not about coffee…
Ky and I have developed a little faux-crush on a bearded barista that works at our new place. Now it’s all in innocent fun. Kylie is so happily married and I may or may not have an American squeeze [i’ll keep you guessing]. Either way, it’s fun to refer to our surfer-by-dawn/barista-by-midmorning crush throughout the day…
– Hey Ky, you wanna go get some coffee from your man?
– Totally… Rach, I think he misses you.
But today I had just a downright embarrassing interaction with the eye candy. Any homeland sweethearts of mine [who may or may not exist] shan’t be worried about anything… because this is what flirting with Rachel Stevens looks like:
[small talk, small talk, smiles, smiles…]
Barista: Hey, I was just reading about people making trips to Mars.
Me: Mars? Like the planet? [no… no… it gets worse.]
Barista: Yeah… I’m thinking about going.
Me: Oh yeah? I heard chickets are teap……..
[awkward silence.]
Barista: Pardon?….
Me: [completely red] Yeah. [clear throat] Tickets are cheap… to Mars…… what with the recession and all… yeah, ummmmm…… Can I get a latte?
…It was painful.
Who wants to see the junk show?? CHICKETS ARE TEAP.
wull hay. 
i got confused at the beginning of this post when you said “29-year-old hottie” because i thought you were referring to me. but my name’s not kylie. and i’m not your boss. you can understand where how it got confusing.
yep – where how.
this reminds me of a trip to a italian restraunt on the way back from Colorado. “Youuuuuu Goooud.” – The ever graceful Rachel Stevens
yeah yeah i know, lets pretend it didnt happen.
the fact that you commented as “BrittMee”?…. twice now?…. okay, i won’t point that out.
and p.s. brittnee is referring to the time we were at a restaurant with some friends and, while walking in, a nice male employee of the restaurant asked me…
– How are you tonight?
I was trying to say, “Good. You?” but i accidentally started off wrong and got confused… but just kept going… and, in turn, said…
– Yooooooouuuuuuu…. Goooooooooooouuuud.
it was tragic. the man just stared at me in confusion and i awkwardly walked off.
yep.
gurl, whatevs. you don’t have to speak well, you’re tall & sexy!