a horse tale.

Let’s see.  Where do I begin?  Oh, yes… at the beginning…

About two years ago exactly, I was in the process of moving into one of the best/worst houses in Jackson Hole.  We called it the Swamp House.  It was surrounded by Cache Creek on three sides and was literally falling into the creek.  It was [excuse my language] a shit hole.  But it was AWESOME.  Best times ever.  Theme parties galore.  Four bedroom house with seven people living it it at one time and about 30 cycling through.  I rented out the crawl space in my closet… anywho… I digress…

When we [my friend, Anna and myself] got to the Swamp House, we scouted out our rooms and I found a horse calendar in my room.

– Ugh.  I hate horses.  Here… Anna, take this.

– Hell no.  I don’t like horses either.  They are too skittish for how big and strong they are.  It was in your room, you have to keep it.

Dahhh… She was right.

So Anna’s boyfriend, Dan, who I had never met before, was also moving in with us.  He arrived on a day that I didn’t have to work, but Anna did.  Anna came home to welcome him and introduced us.  Then Anna left and Dan and I both got back to unpacking.

I had a genius idea.  I grabbed the calendar and walked into Danna’s [Dan + Anna] room, where Dan was unpacking by himself.

– Hey Dan.

– Oh hey.

– Hey, I got you and Anna this as like a house warming gift.  I hope you like it.

– Oh, thanks.  Yeah… cool… thank you.

– You’re welcome.  See ya later!

Muahahaha!  I was so pleased with myself.  And then later that night, I’m just sitting on my bed when Anna busts in my room with the calendar.

– Rachel!  What the hell is this?!

– That is YOURS.  I gave it to you and Dan as a present.  [laughing because I am so pleased with myself.]

And then the war began…

Anna’s Move:  Cutting out the horses and putting them on the windows to my room.

My Move:  Hiding the horses in all of Danna’s [Dan + Anna] stuff.

Anna’s Move:  Hiding the horses in all of my stuff.  [original.]

Peace Offering by Me:  It was Anna’s birthday, so I got her a pony keg from Snake River Brewery and taped all the horses to the keg!  I gave it to her as a peace offering and assumed the war was over…

It was.  For a long time.  Until Halloween this year, when after a eary trip through the Dollar Store [for obvious reasons], Anna says she has a surprise for me.  Of course I immediately start jumping up and down, close my eyes, put my hands out.  …It’s a damn horse calendar.

And the whole war starts again.  Except now we’re across oceans.  I sent a Christmas package to some of my Jackson friends this year and had an envelope that read “FOR EVERYONE BUT DANNA”.  In it were the cut out horses and instructions for everyone to hide them in Danna’s stuff.  Brilliant.  It must be done now… There’s now way they’ll send them back…

Then, last week, I get a package from Anna.  She has outdone herself.  With these was a note that read something like, “I thought you and the baby you nanny for could enjoy some horse puppets, so I made you these.”

Oh Anna…
sandy III.
sandy III.

[the bitch y’all love to hate.]  In memory of the lovely chiuaua Dan and Anna owned when I lived with them.  She was beautiful… but the bitchiest bitch I’ve ever known.

horses inspired by horses!
horses inspired by horses!

“I’m her mom!”  “No, she’s not!”  That is inspired by Kittens Inspired by Kittens… which is just plain amazing.  You should watch it:

fly me to the moon.
fly me to the moon.

I don’t know if I’m allowed to make fun of this one…

Gronli & Sweetie.
Sherri Gronli & Sweetie.

My favorite.  Sherri was an old co-worker at Alpinist who LOVED horses… especially hers, Sweetie.

Very well played, Anna.  And Bink does like them… mostly the way they taste, but likes them – yes.  Kudos to you.

But I will get you back… oh, don’t you worry about that.  I don’t know how yet… but I think it might involve a real horse.

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