less than thrilled & i thought it was so cool.

When I moved from Australia, I really needed a fresh start.  So, I took my journal and tore out most of the pages and got rid of most everything in the back pocket [it’s a moleskin… so yeah, the back pocket for special treasures].  It was a very symbolic, cleansing action for me.  I set the pages on fire and watched the memories, the hard times, the few amazing times, the dark thoughts, the bright thoughts go up in smoke.  I marked the front page of my journal with the words, “a fresh start” and got on a plane back to America.

Today, I looked through the back pocket of my journal and found the few things that I couldn’t get rid of.  One was a birthday card my father made for me.  It’s a piece of paper with a coin purse photo-copied on it with my father’s writing to the side:

not the best picture... but you get the idea.
not the best picture... but you get the idea.

My grandmother [my dad’s mother] passed away in December and it has been a hard process for us all… especially my dad.  He found this purse when him and his siblings went through her belongings.

The letter reads:

“Dear Rachel, This is a copy of a coin purse I bought for my mom for Christmas in 1972.  I found it at a small flea mrkt & I think my mom was less than thrilled & I thought it was so cool.  We were both right but thru it all was love.  You are loved & we enjoy the joy of that.  Enjoy your time away & rest your heart for the time that is.

your father, jim.”

thru it all was love.

thru it all was love.

I bawled when I read this today.

I was trying to figure out how to convey to you all how strong my love is for my dad.  How I think he is not only a great father, but one of the most amazing people I know… someone that I want to be like.  Somehow, this strange experience of mine and this random photo-copied piece of paper seemed appropriate.

Daddy, you are loved and I enjoy the joy of that.

All this to say:  Happy Father’s Day, Daddy!  I love you so much!

i love my pops. (please note elvis in the background.)
(please note elvis in the background.)

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