When I moved from Australia, I really needed a fresh start. So, I took my journal and tore out most of the pages and got rid of most everything in the back pocket [it’s a moleskin… so yeah, the back pocket for special treasures]. It was a very symbolic, cleansing action for me. I set the pages on fire and watched the memories, the hard times, the few amazing times, the dark thoughts, the bright thoughts go up in smoke. I marked the front page of my journal with the words, “a fresh start” and got on a plane back to America.
Today, I looked through the back pocket of my journal and found the few things that I couldn’t get rid of. One was a birthday card my father made for me. It’s a piece of paper with a coin purse photo-copied on it with my father’s writing to the side:
My grandmother [my dad’s mother] passed away in December and it has been a hard process for us all… especially my dad. He found this purse when him and his siblings went through her belongings.
The letter reads:
“Dear Rachel, This is a copy of a coin purse I bought for my mom for Christmas in 1972. I found it at a small flea mrkt & I think my mom was less than thrilled & I thought it was so cool. We were both right but thru it all was love. You are loved & we enjoy the joy of that. Enjoy your time away & rest your heart for the time that is.
LOVE ALWAYS,
your father, jim.”
thru it all was love.
thru it all was love.
I bawled when I read this today.
I was trying to figure out how to convey to you all how strong my love is for my dad. How I think he is not only a great father, but one of the most amazing people I know… someone that I want to be like. Somehow, this strange experience of mine and this random photo-copied piece of paper seemed appropriate.
Daddy, you are loved and I enjoy the joy of that.
All this to say: Happy Father’s Day, Daddy! I love you so much!
wull hay. 