i picture you.

My Momma emailed me tonight.  Told me she was cleaning up, renovating, and in lieu of Valentine’s Day, found it coincidental that she found gifts from my first Valentine’s with a boy.  Oh, yes, Justin Bullock.  High School.  Wow.  He gave me a heart-shaped vase filled with lilies, a lovely teddy bear and made me an amazing dinner… I remember it so vividly.

I was. In. Love.  Well, as much as a Sophomore in high school can be in love…

Such beautiful times, though.  My mom ended her email with,

All of which has helped to mold you into the precious woman you have become. Happy Valentine’s Day, sweet child of mine.”

Made me think… of all past loves.  How they’ve molded me.  How I wonder how they’re all doing.  Thank goodness I’ve stayed friends with so many past kisses.  But I’m not with them in person… don’t know the results of my molding on them.  Hopefully for the better [please let me have affected for the better].  Picturing them all, loving all of it, through truth, through smiles, through true joy…

I picture you with your wife, farming, riding bikes, wearing Chacos, you getting mad at her for something stupid, like her not cleaning the hookah right… her making up for it by making you an all organic apple pie.  Love.

I picture you with your wife, listening to all the music I wish I knew right now.  The music I’ll find out about in six months and LOVE and you would scoff, say, “Really?  You’re just finding out about these guys?”  You and her swapping clothes, cardigans, cuz you’re so damn skinny.  Laughing, loving, doing nothing and being happy.  Love.

I picture you with your wife, reading Scripture to each other.  Studying hard, being so intelligent, but still struggling with it all, because you love to struggle… and she is the constant of grace within that all.  Love.

I picture you starting a new… again.  But figuring it all out.  Finding light in the roughness and bringing smiles, laughter, hope to everyone that surrounds you… because you’re so good at it.  Figuring out your worth and how infinite that is.  Love.

I picture you with your future wife and you’re thinking, “Wow, how is she so beautiful?”  Getting excited about life as a family and realizing it is something you really want… even though you spent most of your adult life trying to convince all around you otherwise.  You are so happy.  This is the adventure to top all your adventures.  Love.

I picture you finally letting yourself cut loose.  Loving your job.  Loving your friends.  Loving your home.  Calling me for affirmation on how great you are… because you are.  Love.

I picture you so happy.  I picture you trying to dance with me and me being taken back.  Wow!  There you are!  Haven’t seen you in so long… but this, now, is how I’ll picture you.  You seem so happy in your new life.  I picture you with her, that someone who wants to have fun more than anything else.  Yay!  That’s you!  Love.

I picture you settling yourself down.  Understanding that love is happening and it is real and worth it.  Making all around you laugh and realize joy.  Knowing that she is the preciousness that you want in your life.  Love.

I picture you taking over the world.  Being the change.  Being a greatness of whatever you want to be… whoever you want to be.  Love.

Wow, that is a lot of love in my life.  A lot of contributing, collaborating, loving.  Yes and yes!  This Valentine’s [single as ever… or more so than ever], I celebrate love as a whole.

A collage of learning through smiles, laughs, hugs, tears, heartbreak, cards, notes, gummy bears, lilies, growing up,road trips, mix CDs, tether ball games, candy apples, jump ropes, bracelets, books, dances, singing, love.  LOVE.

It is an amazing thing.  It is love.

Happy Valentine’s!

6 thoughts on “i picture you.”

  1. ha, yeah… i actually got a couple, “which one am i?” texts.

    i definitely should’ve made one say, “I picture you reading this and complaining about what I write about you.”

    the others are so so far away from my life that they’ll probably never read this… mwahaha!

    happy love day to you as well!!


  2. rach, one of my favorite things i’ve received on v-day is the love cd you made for me when we were in hs. it had all the great classics on it + some new lovie dovie songs too. we would pop it in and sing to it at the top of our lungs in my jeep. ha. love you. 🙂

  3. loooooovin’ you…
    is more than just a dream come true…
    and every time that we… oohh, ohh…

    AAAAHHHHHHHHHAHHHAHHAHHHHAHHH…. [in the highest voice possible.]

    [wow, GOOD times. yes!]

    i love you!

  4. “I picture you with your wife, reading Scripture to each other. Studying hard, being so intelligent, but still struggling with it all, because you love to struggle… and she is the constant of grace within that all. Love.”

    Bobby tells me (and I assume) this is me. I gotta be honest, and I hate to burst your saintly illusions of me, but my first thought was, “we never do that but wouldn’t it be awesome if we did.” At least, not the Scripture reading to each other. I do a lot of studying and pretending to be intelligent, for sure, but you nailed it with the struggle part. I do love to struggle. And maybe I’ll take the Scripture and actually being intelligent parts as a sort of vision for the future.

    I’ve been reading a lot about the significance of remembering our stories and being faithful to tell them and being faithful to live what they taught us about ourselves. Mostly from Frederick Buechner, who I can’t recommend highly enough. Thanks for reminding me of that story and the parts we all play(ed) for one another in those stories.

    Also, not sure if the “taking over the world” one was directed at me, but I’ll take it as a vision for the future as well. Q: “What are we going to do today, Britt?” A: “PREPARE TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!”

  5. britt norvell. !!

    not gonna lie, when i first saw that you commented, i kinda got terrified. remember the old days… with the blahg comment wars of relentless debating within our group of friends? [you were king.] i was scared you were offended… and since i didn’t think you’d ever read this, i had to go back and make sure i was nice. hope i wasn’t offensive… i think very highly of you and all the others aforementioned.

    anywho, yes… i’m fully aware these are all exaggerated illusions. all written straight off the hip via the remembering that has become part of me.

    “remembering stories and being faithful to live what they taught us about ourselves”… i love that.


    mom’s here and she assures me i need to read some frederick buechner.

    hope everything is so so good with you and your’s! great to hear your voice through your written words.

    [and sure, the last one can be about you… it’s pretty much directed at all of you…]

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