forcing everything metal to shine.

It’s okay to not be okay sometimes… right?

Is it selfish?

Or true?

Or dramatic?

Or real?

Or delusional?

Or raw?

I am overwhelmed, disappointed, empty.

Overwhelmed by the lacking in my life.  The things I want that I won’t even reach for.  The things I won’t ever have.  The somethings that are my nothings.

Disappointed in the loss I’ve allowed.  Loss of things, people, betterment, joy, strength, rightness.  Discouraged.

Emptied by tears.

Overwhelmed, disappointed, empty.

Ready to begin tomorrow.

This is a more personal, a more written-in-a-journal type of, entry.  But I find the sharing of raw, unjustified discouragement healthy… encouraging.

Though regrettable in the sunlight of tomorrow, I’m sure.

I think I just need sleep.


4 thoughts on “forcing everything metal to shine.”

  1. There is a dramatic difference in my daytime and night time blog entries.
    That being said, I think that if you didn’t have any of these feelings you are experiencing you would be less human. We all experience loss and disappointment and it is HEALTHY to experience it, to learn from it, to move through it, and to move on. The things that hurt us allow us to appreciate the beauty around us and to make a conscious choice to pursue bliss.
    Hand squeeze for you, my friend. The sun will shine again.

  2. ok wait…i thought i just read that everything was awesome.
    i’m confused. i hope you are well. come see us.

  3. yeah, this is a drastic change from all your blogs lately. hope everything’s alright. we miss you! definitely come visit us soon, soon, soon!

  4. oh, dang. sorry… everything IS very awesome overall. just was so tired, overwhelmed last night. couldn’t let anything seem right. i’m on my 9th day of work in a row… just being a baby.

    everything is great and fine, my loves. just need to step it up a notch… suck it up.

    [this post will probably be gone by lunch time.]

    love to all!

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