I really cannot wait to be sitting next to the swimming pool with my dear Momma in a couple weeks. But until then, I have to wish her a Happy Mother’s Day from afar. I have to tell her how much I love her, without hugs. Tell her how thankful I am for her, without kisses.
I did send her a package with a card I made her. I wish I would’ve scanned or taken a picture of it before frantically sending it off with her present.
The card was a comic with a mother and daughter… the mother on the phone, saying…
– Yeah… Uh Huh…. WHAT? Rachel drew WHAT in school today?!
[okay, it didn’t actually say “Rachel”, but I glued over it so that it did.]
And on the front I had wrote, “The Brown, Brown, Pants Fell Down Incident of 1991.”
Oh man… it was a doozy.
When I was in First Grade, we had to do these coloring sheets to learn our colors.
They were things like, “Red, Red, He’s in Bed.” And it would be a fluffy monster-looking thing, sleeping in bed and you’d have to color him red. Yep.
So, one day, we get, “Brown Brown Pants Fell Down.”
C’mon. What do you expect from First Graders?!
I, being a class clown/attention hound [i know… you would’ve never guessed], immediately turn over the paper and draw a butt on the back. A hairy one at that. Oh, it was bad.
And as it escalated, my peers couldn’t stop giggling. I was loving it… Oh, it was bad…
Before I knew it, I had turned the paper over and was drawing… well… boy parts on Mr. Brown. How in the world I even KNEW what boy parts looked like in First Grade is beyond me… but yep, I did it. And then turned it in.
Pretty sure the phone call came that night. I remember Momma looking at me, giving me that “oh, you better be glad we don’t have a cordless phone yet and i can only move three feet towards you right now” look, saying things like, “Uh huh… Oh, no… I’m so, so sorry… Oh, yes… Believe me, I’ll take care of it.”
I was in SO MUCH TROUBLE. Obviously. And I knew I should’ve been. One of the many times I was yelled at as a child where all I could think was, “Oh, I should not have done that.”
Anywho, fast forward eleven years… I’m a senior in High School, looking through my school files to collect anything I might need to move forward, when I find… yep, the one and only… Brown, Brown, Pants Fell Down… in all his boy part glory…
– Mom! You still have this?! I was in SO MUCH trouble for this!
– Oh, man… Your father and I had to compose ourselves for about a half hour before we could yell at you for that because we were laughing so hard. Of course we kept it!
And THAT, ladies and gentlemen… is my sweet Momma. Who I love/admire/adore/cherish.
[this poem is a must for mothers, children, fathers, everyone.]
– She gave me life and milk from her breasts, and I gave her [Brown, Brown, Pants Fell Down].
Happy Mother’s Day, Momma.
I love you so, so much.
wull hay. 
My precious Rachel, my eyes are tearing, my heart is heavy with a joyous longing to hold you close, and my lips can’t keep from smiling or holding back the laughter. What kind sentiments put together with such an hilarious childhood memory. Thanks for it all. Bless you sweet,sweet child of mine.
Love you, momma
Now I’m going to go look for that picture of Mr. Brown.