my true heart.

Allison asked,

– Do you cry a lot?

– Pardon?

– Well, in your blahg, you say that you cried when something happened a lot.  Do you really cry?  Or do you just say that?

– Oh, I dunno… I think I cry everytime I say I do.  Maybe I don’t.

Soon enough it was time to go to the concert.  THE concert.

I’ve tried to figure out how to tell you how amazing this experience was without you rolling your eyes.  Without you giving up on me.

Arcade Fire is the band I would want to use as a descriptor for myself as a person.  I’ve told you this before:

I don’t think I’m cool enough to be defined with Arcade Fire, but I’ll sure as hell try.

Last night, they opened with “Ready To Start”…

I teared up… it was all too exciting.

Al and I squeezed each other, we beamed from within, we sang, everyone sang, we danced, everyone danced, we yelled, everyone yelled, we smiled, everyone smiled.

I kept it together for “Rebellion [Lies]”…

I thought of warm summer nights in Yosemite, sitting with a gorgeous boy, talking about our love for this song.  The excitement inside.


…from all of us at once.

I even kept composed during the eerie “Rococo”…

…my fave from the new album.

And even, “We Used to Wait”…

…even with lyrics like,

so i never wrote a letter, i never took my true heart, i never wrote it down.

like a patient on a table, i wanna walk again, gonna move through the pain.

now our lives are fading fast, hope that something pure can last.

Oh, man.

But, then.  Then they played, “Intervention”…

…and I could not handle.  Crying.  Tears.  Singing and truth ringing and the excitement inside.



And then Win Butler said,

– If you’ve been reserving anything up to this point, you better use it now.

…and played this:

[but it was better than that.]

Excuse my french, but it was fecking incredible.  Dancing.  DANCING.  Jumping.  JUMPING.  Yelling.  YELLING.  Dancing.  DANCING.

It was such an experience.

The release of everything that’s always been there and will be inhaled back in… but more refreshing this time.

They ended with, “Wake Up”…

…everyone “aaaaaahhhhhh”ing.  So peaceful.  So right.

So right.



And that was it.

And that was her.

That was me.

That was us.

That was it.

1 thought on “my true heart.”

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