The Pole Pedal Paddle: A Story.

Once upon there was a great team named, “Two Boobs and a Beard.”

[not shown… yet.]

One delightfully sunny, yet still a bit cold, morning, the team was separated by a huge mountain.  The boobs part of the team [renamed, “The Black Widow”] had to ski down three miles of icy snow to get to the beard part of the team…

only one tiny, little binding mishap and she survived! with a smile!

On the way down The Black Widow found the team’s beautiful ally in the sea of the cheering crowd…

might have to find a permanent place for this picture on the blahg.

…Colleen quickly became Two Boobs and a Beard’s SSAG.  [surprise support and gear.]

Anywho, the beard part of the team [quickly renamed, “The Fringe”] had to run [literally] because he said there were a few asses he had to kick on 10 kilometers of skate skiing.

[not pictured.]

But he said he’d check in with The Black Widow when he was done, right before he biked 19.8 miles…

"what? oh, did you need help? i'm posing."

The Black Widow vowed to follow him… not let him get away…

...and take pictures of him while hooping and hollaring.

And this is where the team’s super surprise SAG stepped up and carried so much gear [while walking really fast] while Two Boobs and a Beard started a quest by sea [river].  Did you forget what that beautiful SSAG looked like?

the BEST.

And while the boat portion of the day’s quest was trying, paddling for 9 miles of first and second class rapids, The Fringe and The Black Widow finished…

also, the black widow brightened up a bit by putting on a green wig.

The quest was over!  The Black Widow finished her first Pole Pedal Paddle ever and couldn’t stop smiling!  Until the team had to deal with all the clothes and gear from the day…

an explosion.

…Colleen [the SSAG] describes this as an, “Endearing Shit Show.”  [love.]  Everything was so confusing/hard at this point of the day for Two Boobs and a Beard.

But they made it back to the Village [where their quest began], only to find that the Endearing Shit Show got second place!  And that so, so many of their friends did so well as well!

second placers holding up a first placer! so happy!

Yep!  The famous Anna Davis did the race all by herself in the race division and won FIRST.  Fastest woman in the world.  Elliot and Dan also did the race all by themselves [Elliot – rec division, Dan – race division] and they both got second place!  [two boobs and a beard were in the rec division… if you couldn’t guess.]

Well, the day was already about as awesome as it could get when they went to the awards ceremony.  Two Boobs and a Beard got their second place prize, which ended up being awesome red hats with The Black Widow’s design on them… !!  [awesome.]

And then THEN The Fringe won the grand prize at the raffle!  A brand new cruiser bike!  He was in the bathroom so The Black Widow had to accept it for him!  So they’ve made the mutual decision that it’s both of theirs.  [obviously.]  So nice of The Fringe.

two boobs, a beard and a bike.

All in all, it was one of the best days ever… EVER.

The End.