i was your clown.

Sometimes I think about my life with desperation.

How can I get happier?

What can I do?

How can I make others happier?

And it feels like always chasing.

I was thinking about this yesterday, and then my Momma called.

And all day, her birthday, I’ve been thinking about her life.  [the parts that i was there for.]

My goodness, I hope she is happy.  She must be, right?  Because without her light, I wouldn’t know happiness.

To me, she is perfect.

How she cries every single time at the end of E.T.

How she dances like no one is looking, but everyone is looking because she is such an unbelievable dancer.

How she laughs.  How she loves to laugh.  How she might be the only one in the world who can laugh at every one of Daddy’s jokes… and then we all laugh, because Momma’s laugh?  It’s contagious.

How she drops everything to sing every word to any Journey song that comes on.

Her love is abounding and infectious to everyone around her.  I hope if she ever wonders how to make others happier, she realizes her presence will do.

Happy Birthday, Momma!

I hope that the 35 years you’ve had on this earth [remember that one next time i need some moola] have been filled with joy and love.

I couldn’t love you more.

Can’t wait ’til the next time we can dance together…

Maybe to this song…

…it came on yesterday whilst driving and I rocked out so hard.

[i lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove you.]


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