it all in that moment.

One night, a year ago? six months ago?, I was having a stress-filled time.

I broke. I was doing just too much and I cracked.

I was drinking wine out of one of our fancy stemless wine glasses, breaking, bitching about my sad self and how it couldn’t deal.

I came into the kitchen, where Evan was sitting, and I kept breaking.

I said something like,

– All I want to do is throw this wine glass. Break something.

– Do it.

– What?

– Do it. Go for it. Throw that wine glass on the floor.

– Really?

– Yeah.

So I did. I threw it as hard as I could on our kitchen floor and it shattered. It felt so good. It was a stupid, much needed, release. We both laughed for no reason and every reason.

Evan looked at the floor, looked at the glass, laughed more, looked at me, and then said,

– Did that help?

– That was awesome. Yes. Thank you.

– Good. Let’s clean it up.

And so then we swept up shards of glass together.

I’ve thought a lot about night lately… how I always want to remember it. The stress, the breaking, the shattering, the laughing, the love… god, how I loved Evan in that moment… how I love it all in that moment.

It was beautiful.

That is all.