Tomorrow Evan has day one of his 4.5 years of nursing school. Tuesday I start my last year, my thesis year, of my filmmaking masters degree.
We’ll both be working at our jobs as well.
Phew.
I am trying to brace myself for many things:
• Our apartment never being tolerably clean.
• Getting so exhaustedly short with Evan.
• Feeling insanely guilty for how short I get.
• Low bank accounts and high stress.
• Pita chips for lunches.
• Enough Annie’s Shells and Cheese for dinner for me to get tired of Annie’s Shells and Cheese. (which is a TON.)
• Missing amazing friends and awesome events for more computer screen time.
• Going to bed by myself. Missing Evan. Missing us. All while we’re living together.
A bit ago, I had a rough time where Evan didn’t have words of advice. It was a shitty situation, we both knew it, and I didn’t know how I was going to get through it. Evan just looked at me and said something that has become our mantra…
– I love you and you love me.
It rang true. It made everything clear. Everything lighter. When things are going to be undeniably hard, it’s what we remember. It’s what he says to me. What I say to him…
– I love you and you love me.
When he made the decision to go back to school, I’ve never been more proud of Evan. I keep telling him that he owes it to the universe to be a nurse. It’s his calling.
So, even though I’m terrified of this next year, I’m beyond excited for our future. And I rest in the love. In our mantra. While we eat salads in the backyard the night before the craziness. The calm before this beautiful storm…
iloveyouandyouloveme.
wull hay. 