I just caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and paused with comical assurance.
11:30pm: Wool ski socks, short shorts, grey sweatshirt, long necklace, mom’s old wool cap, bourbon in hand.
I chuckle and think, How did I get here?
With a quick mental recap, I conclude that this day said so much about where I am:
• Still can’t make anything but a shitty cup of coffee. I try so many mornings. When I asked Evan to taste this morning, he says, It’s not the worst.
• Working hard on the things I love still feels like a Mad Men daydream but in actuality means staring at computer for twelve hours at a time while my ass finds a new shape. I love it.
• Trail running in December in Montana is something that’s possible and enjoyable and invigorating and I still surprise myself when I prove these things to myself.
• Watched a Boyhood featurette and fell harder in love with that film and then harder in love with life: http://filmmakermagazine.com/88625-watch-boyhood-behind-the-scenes-featurette/#.VJEqrocxpYB
This made me want to call so many people — my little brother, everyone in Austin, my best friend, every guy I dated in college — and tell them they must sit down right now and watch Boyhood. They must. Right now.
• I received a grant today for a film I’m making. When I read the email, I immediately raised my hands in the air out of excitement like a child would. I like that that’s still in me.
• Unapologetically had a burger and fries and an old fashion with a co-worker to catch up on all of the menial office gossip. This will always be a thing.
• Watch a hockey game with a gaggle of friends and did a lot of standing up and yelling like a crazy mother. I’m still confused on how I got here.
• Home now. Doing laundry so that I can wear my favorite pair of pants tomorrow at work because we’re releasing a film I’ve been working very hard on and I think I should be in my very favorite pants.
Now that I’ve retraced and traced everything, I guess I see.
Everything is pretty familiar.
Cheers.
And for good measure, a song I love right now that maybe should be a warning sign…
[oh, that’s how.]
wull hay. 
loved reading you wearing a necklace amongst all your other garb. i find myself accessorizing when i’m just hanging out around home,too. only thing missing is my wool cap, oh yea, you’ve got it. keep it, you look much better in it than i. and the weather…
congrats on the grant, congrats on getting a little extra time to enjoy life, congrats on wearing that necklace with your shorts and sweatshirt.love you, momma
aw, I love you so much, momma.
missing you hard this time of year.
xxo.