Tonight felt so much like what this used to feel like. Evan is gone. Backpacking. And this feels alone like I used to be. Alone. Staying up late, working on projects, drinking wine, listening to this: This whole album. And flipping through an old friend of a book, trying to help a commenter who got… Continue reading frictioning geometry.
Category: life down under.
where the smoke from a chimney ended.
Two things I very much want to share. The first is this: What 20-Somethings Want "You want to find someone who will pick you up from the airport. It’s such a kind gesture but also one you would expect from someone who loved you a reasonable amount. The thought of having to wait for a… Continue reading where the smoke from a chimney ended.
gorgeous and affecting.
Three years ago today, I didn't have today. I didn't have a January 7th. I lost that day in the flight from Austin to Sydney. So much has changed since that day. It's hard to even compare my life then and now... so different. Sydney changed me... for the better. But it was so hard. … Continue reading gorgeous and affecting.
fighting a hard battle.
I am a bitch. It's true. I find myself so quick to judge, so quick to be ugly, so quick to not care... - Oh, you got a new job? That's great, really. Oh, it's your dream job AND the first job you've ever applied for. Awesome... for you. -------- - If that guy doesn't… Continue reading fighting a hard battle.
alive, alone, not lonely.
It's April Fool's. I got nothin'. Sorry. I had this elaborate plan to convince the doctor at my routine check-up this morning that I was a hermaphrodite, but I chickened out... and she would've figured out soon enough... it was a ladydoctor appointment. [TMI? mehdunno.] After my appointment I disappeared to a small coffee shop… Continue reading alive, alone, not lonely.
the remnants of the good of the darkness.
The last two nights, I've had vivid dreams about moving back to Australia. My friend, Andrew, says... - Dreams are like pictures: If I'm not in them and no one's naked, I don't care. Well, some of my good friends were in the dreams, as well as the family I used to work for: The… Continue reading the remnants of the good of the darkness.
that whole reading/reader situation.
My dear Dabney sent this to me today: http://thebookspy.blogspot.com/ I love it. The site documents what people spotted in subways are reading and give projections about that whole reading/reader situation happening. It kinda made me miss Australia; where I rode a train constantly and always had a book in hand. [or at least bag.] And… Continue reading that whole reading/reader situation.
a place for you.
I was craving Australia the other day. Weird, I know. How do you crave such a dark time? But, no... I craved the isolation, the invisibility, the unidentified wandering, the loneliness, the strangers. So, I drove to Salt Lake City. By myself. To go see a concert: Sleigh Bells and Yeasayer. Leaving Jackson with such… Continue reading a place for you.
Found this... ...this morning, in my favorite e-magazine: Picame. And it made me happy... because I am happy. !! [whoa.] Having my mom here is a great gage to how life is going. I find myself getting excited about showing off every aspect of my life here in Jackson. This is where I work. These… Continue reading [wow] happy.
i am done.
It was a hard year. The hardest yet. Last fall. Leaving Yosemite in a blur to try and soften the blows of a family emergency and my sister's divorce. The darkness of that. Fresno. The tears of family, the delicacy of a two year old in question in your arms. Hard. The frustration of uncertainty.… Continue reading i am done.
brighter, richer, deeper.
Had a very real dream last night. Friend was crying, scared of their new life, their move, missing their friends, said it was too hard. I told them to embrace the hard, dark times because when joy comes again, it will be brighter, bliss - richer, love - deeper. Woke up, craving Australia. Wanted to… Continue reading brighter, richer, deeper.
where i was.
This post is mainly posted to distract from the previous post. I didn't realize how much of a "Hey, look at my boobs!" picture I posted. Whoops... Sorry, Mom. Anywho, it was supposed to be a "Hey, this is what me working looks like" picture. I really do like those kind of mess pictures. I… Continue reading where i was.
you’re very yellow.
Today I wore my favorite yellow dress... the one I bought on a very happy day in Australia. I had been wanting a yellow dress. It was a very long day. The trains were all messed up [per usual], so I had to wake up at 3am to catch a train to the outskirts of… Continue reading you’re very yellow.
us by us.
My last night in Australia. Jimmy [the great, the fabulous, my hero] cooked up some great kangaroo for dinner and we had a very unromantic romantic dinner for two. Then a relaxing night on the streets of Darlinghurst. With the music of us playing in the background. All beautiful. Goodbye Australia. You taught me a… Continue reading us by us.
Every once in a while a friend truly wows you with their talent. I can't get over how much I love Lindsey's work. Check it out: http://www.lindseyyankey.wordpress.com A lot of her work was inspired by The Little Prince. This passage [well, and other excerpts coupled with it] once made me cry... [love it.] My friend,… Continue reading [love it.]
i wake you up in the morning, [so early].
When it's a cool, clear day and nothing in the world can touch you. When the music makes you feel like part of a movie you'd suggest to people you want to love. When there were no goodbyes to break your heart and no hellos sitting, waiting for you. When all red lights are praised… Continue reading i wake you up in the morning, [so early].
on terrigal drive, in front of cornerstone books.
I saw three people litter today. The First: I was driving at 5:30am [I'm as surprised as you] to do the Anzac Day Run [yes, I am equally as shocked], when I saw the car in front of me throw a candy wrapper from their car. I gave them a quick beep but it didn't… Continue reading on terrigal drive, in front of cornerstone books.
you are a very fit mom!
Bink [aka Sienna, the baby I nanny for] and I go for a walk every day. We stroll around the shops, get lunch, or just go to the beach. It's a nice part of the day. I've about thrown in the towel on anyone not thinking she's my daughter, though. I used to correct everyone:… Continue reading you are a very fit mom!
- Hey Gurl, turn on the tube! My favorite show's on! - What?? SYD CRIBS??! Awwwhellya... Who's on today?? - Oh snapppp! It's Rachel Stevens! She be my fave. - She's tight. Au-pair Extraordinaire. I wonder what her set-up's like. - Wait... What's all over that gurl's windows?? - Ohhhh... child. Them's tight. Little blurry...… Continue reading SYD CRIBS.
it’s just going to take a while.
This weekend turned my already upside down Australian world, upside down. [right side up??] Either way, I'm happier than I've been yet here in Australia... or at least I will be... Friday. If you hadn't noticed, the Vincents aren't my favorite people to work for. In a fit of inward rage after an incident to… Continue reading it’s just going to take a while.