let’s make up dances.

I'm into defining my years. Naming them. Calling them out. I've had the bad year: circa 2009. Then there were fours years in between that escaped official titling. I was feverishly tornado-ing through life and the west, looking for purpose, creativity, love, adventures, paychecks, and more purpose. I picked Evan up on the way and we kept on… Continue reading let’s make up dances.

an australian evening.

It's been a very Australian evening. Last night, I came home to a package from such a sweetheart of a friend, Katrina. It was FILLED with the sweetest Australian goodies. So, tonight, I made myself an affogato.  It's a treat that I would constantly order in Oz that consisted of espresso poured on top of… Continue reading an australian evening.

alive, alone, not lonely.

It's April Fool's.  I got nothin'.  Sorry. I had this elaborate plan to convince the doctor at my routine check-up this morning that I was a hermaphrodite, but I chickened out... and she would've figured out soon enough... it was a ladydoctor appointment.  [TMI?  mehdunno.] After my appointment I disappeared to a small coffee shop… Continue reading alive, alone, not lonely.

the remnants of the good of the darkness.

The last two nights, I've had vivid dreams about moving back to Australia. My friend, Andrew, says... - Dreams are like pictures: If I'm not in them and no one's naked, I don't care. Well, some of my good friends were in the dreams, as well as the family I used to work for: The… Continue reading the remnants of the good of the darkness.

…but i’m gonna live.

I was very scared last night.  A feeling too familiar. Hurting, in my side. Oh, no... My kidney's trying to sabotage me again. Two years ago I had a kidney infection and didn't know it.  Thought it was something else.  Denial about so many other parts of life lead to denial about my health.  So… Continue reading …but i’m gonna live.

“a drinkable memory quilt” or “are you happy?” [couldn’t decide.]

First off, I received this email from my pops the other day... Awesome. So, I went to the post office the next day and much to my delight, there was a golden ticket indicating that I had a package to pick up. As I rounded the corner to the service counters, I was confronted with… Continue reading “a drinkable memory quilt” or “are you happy?” [couldn’t decide.]

i am done.

It was a hard year.  The hardest yet. Last fall.  Leaving Yosemite in a blur to try and soften the blows of a family emergency and my sister's divorce.  The darkness of that. Fresno.  The tears of family, the delicacy of a two year old in question in your arms.  Hard. The frustration of uncertainty.… Continue reading i am done.