Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Hodon. Hodon…
Have I told you I’m important?
Yep. That’s an official business card. I have an extension. Don’t call me on it, though… can’t figure out how to set that thing up…
Work has been absolutely great. Not last week, but this week… great.
But being new won’t stop me from being awkward, in fact, I’m pretty sure it just feeds into it.
Awkward Story #1
[Preface: Lots of Adventure Cycling employees model for photo shoots and then I use those photos for all kinds of stuff.]
Girl I Haven’t Met Yet: Hi, I’m Allison! We haven’t met yet.
Me: Oh, yeah… I’ve been staring at you all day.
Me: I mean… I’ve been staring at PHOTOS of you all day…
Me: Phooo… Okay, I am being creepy. Did you model for a shoot in Augusta?
And then we figured it out from there… but I’m 97% sure she’ll never talk to me again and tell all of her friends with kids to keep them. away. from. her.
Awkward Story #2
There’s a coffee shop closer than around the corner. Everyone from work goes there everyday… at least once. It’s awesome. The baristas know my drink, know my mug… it’s great.
I order my double skinny vanilla latté and pay, stand, wait… [okay, i also order a cookie that i down in five seconds flat]… but, yes, waiting…
The young, tall, male employee hollers…
– Skinny Vanilla!
I walk up to him to grab it and with my creepiest older-single-aunt-voice, I say to him…
– Just like I like my men.
He looks at me in confused horror and I immediately start shaking my head in shared horror, as if someone nearby said that and definitely not me. I open my mouth to maybe say something and then just look at him one last time before walking off with no explanation nor apology.
Oh, my goodness.
Thank god I have amazing friends and family somewhere.
I came home to the sweetest/awesomest card from Miss Jules. [julia brettell.]
Does it look like my arm is part of the body? That’s really what I was going for.
And AND my amazing family sent me a package chock-full of food. Incredible. I smiled with the most genuine love just seeing the package with the return address labelled, “Stevens Family.” We are a family. And families do stuff like send a package of food because they know a] that’s what you need in times like this and b] nothing shows love from afar like homemade cookies…
I feel like, with these bangs, I look like a muppet. A cookie-crazed muppet… but not the Cookie Monster… like Bert.. but also with a cookie-addiction.
1 thought on “shared horror.”
I could read your awkward stories all day. In fact, I was bored thinking how I could waste time on the internet and thought “im going to check up on Rachel and see how the new job is going …(I hope she has some awkward stories!)